Long story short, I helped a lazy fisherman, saved a little girl’s lemonade, err, I mean potion stand, killed a bunch of little monster thingies, destroyed a huge slime, stole cherries from a farmer to color some white horns red and give them to the witch, kicked the crap out of some demons, literally and eventually entered the Demon Cave. He managed to finds the hut of the witch who allegedly holds the artifact, but she said it is stored in the nearby Demon Cave and I have to get a few items before going there. He was lead to it’s location by a young boy, but they got ambushed and the boy got killed. That, however, is a story for another time, since the narrator is really tired now.Īnyways, our hero, DeathSpank, was looking for a powerful artifact, called “The Artifact”. Anyways, there are more people in the world with the same thongs, so I have to deal with them to. The difference is, my thong gave me the power to be the dispenser of justice and a hero to the downtrodden, while his just corrupted him. However, she also said my mission is not over and revealed that von Prong was wearing the same type of thong DeathSpank was wearing. The mysterious, yet strangely attractive red-haired woman appeared again and thanked me for killing von Prong. He gave me the sword, so I went back to the castle, where I promptly kicked von Prong’s ass. I took the hair and brought all of the stuff to the retarded grandpa. I said it was pi’o’clock, so he rang the bell and the guards went for lunch. The clock shattered and the orque outside asked me what time it is. He also said that there’s a song that the lord usually sings which always brakes the clock, so I went back to the museum and played the song on the record player there. I spoke to the guy next to the clock outside, but he wouldn’t ring the bell, since it wasn’t pi’o’clock yet. I asked them when they are leaving and they said at pi’o’clock, when it’s lunch time. I remembered there’s a wig that von Prong wore in his museum so I went to try and take it, but the guards wouldn’t let me touch it. I bought the plain 6×6 piece of pelt, and all that was left was the lock of hair. Turns out, the dragon ate the salesman, so he climbed out of him now. I followed the trail of poo to an old orc camp, where I found and defeated the dragon. He wasn’t on his usual spot, but I did find some dragon poo there, and more of it down the road. Then I went to look for the pelt salesman on the road east of town. He needs some 6×6 plain pelt, a lock of von Prong’s hair and some demon ore.įirst I went and got the ore from the Demon Mines, that was easy enough. He said that I need a sword, the Pronginator 3000 or something, and he will make it for me, if I get him the ingredients. #Deathspank spicy taco how toI went to talk to the old retarded grandpa to ask how to open the locked gate and, more importantly, how to defeat lord von Prong. I decided to go and return all of the orphans to the major, who organized a huge press conference, got some major publicity for his election and, in the end, instead of giving me the promised 100 000$, game me an I.O.U., stupid major. I killed a bunch of orques in there, saved the last two orphans and ran into a locked gate. As luck would have it, they were looking for the remaining six orphans so, since I already had them, they decided to lower the drawbridge and let me in. Since the major would do nothing, I decided to try and go find the other two orphans, at the castle of lord von Prong, the big boss behind the artifact and orphan theft.
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